Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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