I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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