Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
