Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
