he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize