Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
