It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He passed out mid-signature
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
