I wish I only lived at night.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize