We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
