i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think your dad took our porno
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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