why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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