Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
