I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
