And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize