So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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