I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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