I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if i died would you start the facebook group?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
