Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
