No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
