Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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