i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
