none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
