So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
