is wine microwaveable?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
