she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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