I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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