I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
