All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
