I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
