there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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