I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
