the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
thus making me awesome and them whores
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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