I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Found your dick twin last night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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