i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
