we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
