Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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