just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize