I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
