i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
