next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
