Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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