The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
