i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
