I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
