Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
