All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
