you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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