I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
