I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
