does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
