So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
