You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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