Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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