i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
