I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
