Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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