i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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