Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
