just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
