just come out here and I will go home with you...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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