Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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