May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
